We have too much experience with guilt and the shame its shadow brings. Its most devious power is how it reminds of moments and actions we can never undo or change. It is a déjà vu symptom similar to a wheel in a cage in which a hamster runs endlessly but never gets anywhere. Guilt keeps us from sleeping, infects our living, and is used as a club by enemies and friends alike. It is a powerful force on this earth, and the reason for a manger and empty tomb to come into the equation of life.
We are used to hearing the good news that God forgives, removes guilt, and brings us to a new place where the present and future are clean slates for new efforts. What we have broken God will heal. What we are embarrassed about, God asks us to let go of. What we cannot change in the past, God erases from today. God’s grace encourages us (like Lot’s wife in the story of Sodom’s destruction) to never to look back or revisit what God freed us from.
Occasionally a moment of inspiration offers a visual image to help me explain better what all these words mean. A recent visit to an exhibit of incredible glass-work by Dale Chihuly gave me such a moment. He creates beautiful glass forms and a variety of sizes, shapes, and colorful designs that are impossible to ignore. My favorites are glass globes which he often displays in a garden pond. If you have ever tried to swim after a slippery ball in the water, the closer you get, your own effort pushes that ball just out of reach. Guilt is frustrating like that as more effort we put into erasing it from our memory the more slippery it becomes and simply keeps floating just beyond our reach.
In another pond at this exhibit, there was a wooden boat, anchored close to shore. It was filled to overflowing with dozens of beautiful glass balls of various shapes and sizes. That spoke to me of God’s grace as he takes control of what I cannot, fills himself to overflowing with what causes so much guilt, and keeps it from floating back into my life again. While not theological, this exhibit gave me a visual understanding of Jesus’ loving effort to grab and carry my guilt to the cross, and bury it in a tomb, so it no longer has to float around in my life anymore. Once buried I am called to let it be.
Of course, we confess our guilt to fully understand the power of the Gospel. As we let go of what God offers to bury for us, we are then free to receive his new gifts and share them with each other. With such healing comes the amazing realization there is no reason to go back and grab onto that guilt again. One day last week, a wooden boat loaded with globes of glass helped me visualize the power of Jesus’ wooden cross and his promise to carry our brokenness away. As my life is important enough for God’s love, it only makes sense that I place more effort into grace rather than guilt as the motivation for who I am and what I do.